I Hate Everything About You, Why Do I Love You?
by Groundswell
Summary: Running was pointless at that point, but she couldn’t stop. She knew deep inside her what she thought was true but would not in a million years admit it to herself. She was living a lie, but didn’t know it. He did. L/J


_A/N: Okay, I wrote this one like a year os so ago asmy first one-shot ever, so of course I know there's room for improvement (where isn't there?), but I really don't feel like changing it. It's a L/J one-shot to the song_ I Hate Everythig About You _by Three Days Grace, which I of course do not own, just like Lily and James. Please enjoy and leave feedback, making me smile. Here we go..._

**I hate everything about you, why do I love you?**

She was running down a corridor, tears steaming from her eyes down her cheeks. She could still see his brown hazel eyes looking into her own; filled with love, but at the same time looking hurt. His jet-black messy hair had almost seemed to wither right in front of her, his smile had dropped for a few seconds. And it was all her fault. She had finally done it, she was sure of that. She was the reason he was miserable. He was the reason she was miserable. What was wrong with them?

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_

Everything was a mess right now. It always was. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to feel. Yet she was crying. She couldn't accuse him for it, and she couldn't accuse herself. She hated the way she treated him. She wasn't a person like that, but he had made her that way. She had still no idea what it was, but she didn't like it.

_  
Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
All the feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet  
_

It was getting on everyone's nerves when they fought. She knew that, but it didn't prevent it from happening every time. It was like the world was standing still and it was only him and her. Captured in a bubble filled with all their feeling floating around, bumping against the wall, trying to get out and let people know. Like suppressing what she really felt.

_  
Only when I stop to think about it  
_

But when he was smiling, running his hand through his hair or just dong nothing there was something about him that made her mind go blank. She had no idea what it was, but it made her heart beat faster and her head spin around.

_  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you__?  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
_

Running was pointless at that point, but she couldn't stop. She knew deep inside her what she thought was true but would not in a million years admit it to herself. She was living a lie, but didn't know it. He did. He had always seen it in her, she could tell that now. That was why he had never given up hope. Never given her up. She turned a corner and kept running.

_  
Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_

_  
_It was only a joke, and she had made a big fuss about it. Actually it had been funny, but she would rather jump out from the tower than admit it to everyone. She had her stands, which everyone knew her for, but she wasn't glad to say that she didn't believe in many of them anymore. Her friends didn't know either.

_  
Only when I stop to think about it_

_  
_She turned another corner. This time it had been different. His eyes had told her everything. Almost. Maybe he had finally given up hope. Maybe he just would fight harder from now on. She couldn't tell, but something had been going on behind them. _  
_

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you__?  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
_

She couldn't help but admire him. The way he had fought for her for years and never given up hope. He couldn't now. She would never be able to forgive herself if he finally had given up. What would be of her then? She was nothing without him. Well, she was, but not the person she wanted to be. He did something to her, made her feel special and loved.

_  
Only when I stop to think  
About you, I know  
Only when you stop to think  
About me, do you know  
_

She stopped running. She could slap herself for that thought, but it was true. It had been like that for years, but she had been too proud to admit it and wasn't sure about herself. Or him as a matter of fact. When she was alone her thought would wander, and she had never been able to stop them from going in his direction. Yes, this had been the final confrontation and she had finally realised what he had known for years. They were like two poles; different, but couldn't live without each other. They belonged together.

_  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you__?  
You hate everything about me  
Why do you love me?  
_

Suddenly, out of nowhere; she saw him, right in front of her, looking at her with his lovely hazel eyes and his black hair was even messier than usual. She wondered for a second how he got there so quickly and how he could know that she was there, but found that she didn't care. She dried her eyes. She wanted to tell him, but something kept her from doing it. His eyes. She loved them. The way they looked at her at the moment, or just at any time they looked at her. She looked back at him, wanting him to know.

_  
I hate  
You hate  
I hate  
You love me  
_

He walked slowly over to her. She just looked at him. None of them broke the eye contact that seamed everlasting. Her heart began to beat faster and faster as he came closer to her. His eyes were filled with something she couldn't place. Was it determination, or just simple love? She didn't know and couldn't care less. She just knew that she felt the same way. Words were unnecessary for both of them.

She took the last step so the distance between them was less than two inches. Somehow she felt safe this close to him. She felt his hands around her neck and her own hand suddenly had slid up at his shoulder.

_  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?_

As their lips touched she felt like melting and flying at the same time. Nothing in her whole life had seamed as right as this did and she knew right away that nothing ever would. The kiss could have been a second or a year; she didn't know and didn't care. All the mattered was that she was there with him. He kissed her again, this time it lasted longer and it wasn't as shy as the first one.

As they broke apart, her green emerald eyes looked into his hazel eyes and it all was clear to her for the first time. She knew to herself that this was she had always wanted. To be with him.


End file.
